If you only do what you can, you will never be more than you are – Master Shifu, Kung Fu Panda

I’m sure the origin of this quote isn’t this famous movie, but as someone who lives and breathes the moving image, it’s only natural that life-changing inspiration would come from an animated red panda.

About 10 years ago, I got the opportunity to go wing walking in Dubai. For those who don’t know, wing walking is moving along the wing of a biplane mid-flight, doing daring stunts as the aircraft performs various maneuvers. I, obviously, wasn’t expected to do any stunts; I was simply dressed in thick overalls, given a pair of goggles and belted into a makeshift backrest with a high-definition camera pointed at me to enjoy the ride. Nay, flight.

Now, I had a vague idea of what I was going for. There was no information about how an amateur would be wing walking, so I half assumed I’d just be seated inside the aircraft rather than on the wing. But to be safe, I went on a completely empty stomach and without having told my mum what I was going to do. I am very close with her, so this was a hard decision to make, particularly if something were to happen to me that morning.

Once there, I was told there are no parachutes. And the only way to communicate with the pilot was hand signals.

Wing walking remains one of the craziest, most adventurous things I have ever done, and the opportunity came to me at a time when I was recovering from a very difficult few years professionally and personally. I did it entirely for myself without wondering what anyone would think or feel, and it is the most freeing experience I’ve ever had.

When the aircraft turned me upside down over the Arabian Gulf, for those few seconds I felt no gravity; it was like floating in between the unending blues of the sky and sea and being emptied of a lifetime of grief, pain, anger and broken dreams. So up and down, round and round we went for about 20 minutes before I signalled to the pilot that I was done. I am not the pukey type, but I didn’t want to push myself beyond reason. Being free would have been quite useless if I wasn’t well enough to enjoy it.

It wasn’t as if wing walking switched something in my brain and I suddenly became a different person. I still went about work and life as always and plans I had made for my future were already well-established. What it did do, though, was spark a little fire inside me – one that, even today, lights up difficult days and unbearable nights, reminding me of who I am and who I can be.

‍