I was always hungry when I arrived and my Gram seemed to instinctively know this. She would usher me right over to the kitchen table where it was set beautifully with her best linen and polished silver. I would sit there like Little Lord Fauntleroy watching my grandfather, Poppa, cooking in the kitchen.

Gram had taught him well. He was crushing the Special K cereal into the most delicious fish batter – I’m sure Gram won’t mind that I’m revealing her secret recipe here but it’s so good it must be shared – leaving a few bigger bits for extra crunch. When it was ready, he dipped the fish into the eggy mix and then again into the cereal bits, popping it into a hot frying pan. My scrumptious fish was soon served with the most, perfectly cooked vegetables by Gram.

Gram and Poppa would join me at the table now with their gin and tonics, the cubes clinking loudly in their crystal glasses, and we began to talk. Oh, how we talked! They let me lead the conversation but they were so present. Listening intently to everything I said. And, taking it seriously, me seriously, a young sixteen-year-old girl. They never interrupted or criticised but that doesn’t mean they didn’t passionately debate with me. They did. On many topics. But it always felt refreshingly positive and full of love. Full of love for my thoughts and ideas and they were just so interested in what I had to say. I’ll never forget this.

When dinner was finished, I said, “I’ve had an elegant sufficiency.” Just thinking of this phrase makes me laugh because Gram had heard my siblings and I saying, “I’m full!” or when we were being cheeky, “I’m stuffed!” Even though this was a joke Gram hated it! She couldn’t handle those phrases at all. I never wanted to upset Gram so I asked her what she would like me to say when I’d finished a meal and she said, “I’ve had an elegant sufficiency,” with her large lipstick-red lips pursed. Even though I found this hysterically funny, I understood manners were important to her, but still I couldn’t help putting on my poshest accent and over-exaggerating the words in a theatrical manner every time I said this, making my Gram unable to contain her laughter.