I watched our station wagon, “baby white knight”, Dad called it, pull out of our driveway. It must have been about 6pm and I stood at the big picture window, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“You can go with Dad and Rosie to see Liona Boyd perform,” my mum had said earlier, “or stay home with me and we’ll have a cosy night in.”

Dad was a guitar teacher and Liona Boyd was one of his favourite classical guitarists. What I remember about her, having seen the cover of a few of her LPs, was her spidery, bony fingers and long blond hair.

“We can make a fire and popcorn, and play a board game,” continued Mum. “Or you can go to Vancouver with Dad and your sister. He has a spare ticket so we’re leaving the decision up to you.”

It was impossible. Go have an adventure, in Vancouver! Or snuggle up with Mum. How could I ever choose? It was just too much for my indecisive 8 year old heart. I loved my parents equally, but in different ways. I suppose Mum was comfort and reassurance and Dad was performing and dancing and fun. How could they expect me to make such a choice?

“I’ll go with Dad, I think.”

“Ok, good choice,” said my mum.

“No! I’ll stay home with you! Can we play Candyland?”

“Are you sure? Candyland, Scrabble, whatever you want.” She gave me a squeeze.

One hour later, as I stood at the window, I knew I’d made the wrong choice. If I was so upset then I must have, right?

I still think about this memory. How being indecisive was a trait of mine even at that tender age. Although these days I call it diplomacy, seeing both sides equally. Being fair and just. I am a Libra after all: the scales.

“Mummy!” shouts my toddler, jolting me from my memories. “Finished!”

I go into the other room where she’s handing out her empty dinner bowl, ready for whatever comes next.

“Thank you my sweet! Do you want something else?”

“Something else,” she repeats.

“Do you want some yogurt? Or banana?” I ask her.

“Yogurt banana” she repeats triumphantly.

“Which one? Yogurt or banana?”

Her little brow furrows. “Banana… hmm hah… yogurt?”

I go back to the kitchen and get her both.